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Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts, by Stefanie Carnes Mari A. Lee

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Review

In Facing Heartbreak, authors and clinicians Stefanie Carnes, Mari A. Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez, combine their wisdom and experience in offering hope to traumatized partners of sex addicts. This book lays out a clear and compassionate path of healing. It is as comprehensive as it is practical in covering the range of issues faced by the heartbreak of betrayal. The authors have created an invaluable resource and companion for those seeking recovery as well as for the clinicians who treat them. --Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., CSATAuthor, Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners and When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and CommitmentClinical Director of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates in suburban Detroit, Michigan and Life Healing in Santa Fe, New MexicoThis groundbreaking book fills a huge gap in helping partners of sex addicts realize the full possibility of their potential for restoring their lives. Following the guidance of Facing Heartbreak will ensure the discovery of a vital, healthy self, long ago lost by deceit. This is the book I will be putting in the hands of all my clients.--Alexandra Katehakis, MA, MFTAuthor, Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex AddictionThis is a wonderful resource for partners of sex addicts who are seeking to understand the impact of the lies, manipulation, and betrayal they have endured. Packed with easy to use, practical exercises, Facing Heartbreak is an essential guide to healing. --M. Deborah Corley, Ph.D., LMFT, CSAT Co-founder and co-owner of Santé Center for HealingCo-author, Disclosing Secrets: An Addict’s Guide to When, To Whom, and How Much to RevealIn the aftermath of discovering their mate’s sex addiction, this book provides a series of detailed exercises to help men and women work through their emotions, understand addiction, heal themselves, and make good decisions. For partners looking for a step-by-step guide to recovery, Facing Heartbreak should be required reading. I highly recommend it. --Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., Ph.D.Author, Disclosing Secrets; Back from Betrayal; Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness; and Untangling the Web WOW! The authors have delivered a much needed guide for the men and women who have been traumatized by their partner’s betrayal. This is a must read for both therapists and partners. It is helps betrayed partners make sense of their emotions and know there is a way out of the confusion. This much needed Patrick Carnes Task Centered Approach helps readers understand what is happening and what to do. This is not about theory, it is about healing. Thank you for your never ending dedication to excellence.--Barbara S Levinson Ph.D, RN, LMFT, CST Diplomate, CSAT Supervisor, LSOTPThe consequences and hurt evoked by infidelity and unresolved addictions are universal, regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation. Love and pain often live side by side for those surviving the loss of trust, secrecy and the betrayal that occurs for partners of sex addicts. With incredible sensitivity and insight, the authors of Facing Heartbreak provide the concrete direction and support necessary for partners of sex addicts to find answers, healing and peace.--Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-SAuthor, Educator, Addiction Specialist In Facing Heartbreak, authors and clinicians Stefanie Carnes, Mari A. Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez, combine their wisdom and experience in offering hope to traumatized partners of sex addicts. This book lays out a clear and compassionate path of healing. It is as comprehensive as it is practical in covering the range of issues faced by the heartbreak of betrayal. The authors have created an invaluable resource and companion for those seeking recovery as well as for the clinicians who treat them.--Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., CSATAuthor, Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners and When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and CommitmentClinical Director of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates in suburban Detroit, Michigan and Life Healing in Santa Fe, New MexicoThis groundbreaking book fills a huge gap in helping partners of sex addicts realize the full possibility of their potential for restoring their lives. Following the guidance of Facing Heartbreak will ensure the discovery of a vital, healthy self, long ago lost by deceit. This is the book I will be putting in the hands of all my clients.--Alexandra Katehakis, MA, MFTAuthor, Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex AddictionThis is a wonderful resource for partners of sex addicts who are seeking to understand the impact of the lies, manipulation, and betrayal they have endured. Packed with easy to use, practical exercises, Facing Heartbreak is an essential guide to healing.--M. Deborah Corley, Ph.D., LMFT, CSATCo-founder and co-owner of Santé Center for HealingCo-author, Disclosing Secrets: An Addict’s Guide to When, To Whom, and How Much to RevealIn the aftermath of discovering their mate’s sex addiction, this book provides a series of detailed exercises to help men and women work through their emotions, understand addiction, heal themselves, and make good decisions. For partners looking for a step-by-step guide to recovery, Facing Heartbreak should be required reading. I highly recommend it.--Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., Ph.D.Author, Disclosing Secrets; Back from Betrayal; Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness; and Untangling the Web WOW! The authors have delivered a much needed guide for the men and women who have been traumatized by their partner’s betrayal. This is a must read for both therapists and partners. It is helps betrayed partners make sense of their emotions and know there is a way out of the confusion. This much needed Patrick Carnes Task Centered Approach helps readers understand what is happening and what to do. This is not about theory, it is about healing. Thank you for your never ending dedication to excellence.--Barbara S Levinson Ph.D, RN, LMFT, CST Diplomate, CSAT Supervisor, LSOTPThe consequences and hurt evoked by infidelity and unresolved addictions are universal, regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation. Love and pain often live side by side for those surviving the loss of trust, secrecy and the betrayal that occurs for partners of sex addicts. With incredible sensitivity and insight, the authors of Facing Heartbreak provide the concrete direction and support necessary for partners of sex addicts to find answers, healing and peace.--Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-SAuthor, Educator, Addiction Specialist

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About the Author

Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D., has led numerous research projects on addiction and authored many publications including her nationally renowned book, Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts (2nd edition, Sept. 2011). Dr. Carnes is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AAMFT clinical member and approved supervisor. She is also certified through IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) as a Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. Dr. Carnes resides in Phoenix, AZ.Mari A. Lee, MA, LMFT, CSAT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Ms. Lee is the founder of Growth Counseling Services, Inc., a recovery center in Pasadena, CA, where she sees clients for individual, couples and group therapy. In addition, she is a respected writer, speaker and presenter on women’s issues, compulsive sexual behavior, trauma, communication, and leads workshops and weekend intensives for women in the areas of co-dependency, self-image and esteem. Ms. Lee resides in Southern California.Anthony Rodriguez, MSW, CSAT, BCSA, LISW, LCSW, is the Founder and Clinical Director of The Men’s Center. Mr. Rodriguez has pursued continuing education in the areas of treating survivors of sexual violence, anger management, addictions and other general mental health issues. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and is Board certified in treating sexual abuse by the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. He is also a technical consultant with the Office for Victims of Crime Training & Technical Assistance Center (U.S. Dept. of Justice). Mr Rodriguez resides in Iowa City, IA.

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Product details

Paperback: 320 pages

Publisher: Gentle Path Press; First Edition edition (October 16, 2012)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 098327133X

ISBN-13: 978-0983271338

Product Dimensions:

8.5 x 0.8 x 11 inches

Shipping Weight: 2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.4 out of 5 stars

65 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#22,928 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

The addict's partners at times do not get treatment as a victim along with the addict and sometimes they just minimize their own suffering (coping mechanism?) and everything becomes about getting the addict out of the addiction and/or protecting the kids from even more emotional damage than they have already been through.This book takes you through the stage of discovery, your pain and suffering and tells you how to go about recognizing your emotional roller coaster ...and then get strong enough to move past that. Take charge of YOU. Take control of what happens in your life from this point on and where your boundaries are. The hardest part is getting past the feeling of being 'selfish' and taking care of your needs, yourself first.Do also read Mending a Shattered Heart. These two books together worked wonders for me. From understanding to beginning to heal.

This book is really well written. I wish I had purchased this sooner on my journey to healing from my husbands addiction. It has a lot of concrete tools to help you navigate different emotions, issues, boundaries etc. Definitely recommend to any spouse dealing with this. And so sorry if you are ❤️

This is an actual workbook, complete with fill-in-the-blank charts and worksheets. It assigns exercises and asks questions designed to make you stop and think. These are accompanied by real-life stories which illustrate the points being made. The authors do a good job of breaking down the process we go through into component parts, and helping you focus on each part one by one so the entire process feels less overwhelming. However, it's not intended as a standalone resource. It's based on the assumption that readers are working with a therapist or a group session (neither of which are viable options for me) so it skips over some of the basic things I need to know. For example: "Give yourself the time you need to seek out information, get support, and process your story with others who are a safe support." But it offers no clue where to "get support" or find "others who are a safe support"! So I paired this book with "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal" by Steffens and Means. That book fills in some of the blanks left by this one on things like finding supportive people, and I'm still getting the benefit of the exercises here, which really do help me deal with my situation in a constructive way. This book is a valuable tool if you have other tools to use as well, and if you are prepared to actually do the exercises.

Wordy, and useful... Don't want to be reading it in the first place since my partner is the one that screwed us up!

If you are a partner who has experienced this trauma recently or in the past, PLEASE don’t hesitate to purchase this workbook! I can’t even begin to explain how much I have healed and continue to heal after completing it; more importantly, I am on a whole NEW path towards self awarness, self love, and growth!It’s been almost 3 months since the full disclosure but 3 years of enduring the progressive disease of my boyfriend’s sex addiction. I used this workbook in combination with very little counseling, journaling, and other self care strategies. The accompanying exercises were absolutely effective, easy to do, and powerful in helping readers to reflect and move on through this journey of healing.Without this experience, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons I am using to shape my life for the better. I hope this book helps you as much as it did for me. Not only am I restoring myself but I’m less focused on him and instead more focused on self care, my own emotional attunement and asserting boundaries.I am committed to breaking the mental chains of my emotional wounds and the prison of cognitive distortions so that I can finally live unapologetically for and as me! I truly believe the same is in store for you. It may just start here.

Really good read.I got it couple days ago and I’m about halfway through it.The exercises in it really help. It’s the next best thing to attending actual therapy.Just found out a couple weeks ago I am involved with a sex addcit and this book is really helping me keep my feelings in check about it.

Really helpful through some of the worst days of my life

Amazing workbook!!! It helps you dig deep and see things clearer. Highly highly recommend if able to work with therapist/group/a friend/ family or even solo. To get the most of the workbook would be better with someone but great workbook either way.

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